I have no doubt that I’m supposed to be at the Mount. God has given me signs upon signs upon signs… but sometimes it’s hard to be here.
I see groups of people always together, always hanging out. I used to have that, but then I screwed up. Or maybe I didn’t. But things changed. I changed.
Last spring was a mess, I was sobbing in bed on a daily basis. I would have bet on my soul that nobody cared.
This year is better, but it’s still tough. I mean, it’s still the beginning, so things can change, and I think they will. But right now it’s tough. There’s never enough room for me to be able to do things with my friends, or I’m just not invited.
They don’t have to spend every waking moment with me. Hell, I hate doing that. But sometimes it’d be nice to be included instead of feeling like you’re intruding on something.
I’m praying that I’ll find my niche, I know God will show it to me, and that I’ll find it. I just sometimes wish that His timing was more like my own.