Drop Dead Diva touched me in a way that TV isn’t really supposed to.

The other night, I randomly decided to watch a new show on Netflix. Drop Dead Diva had been recommended for me for a while, so I decided to give it a try, pretty convinced I’d watch one episode and move on.

I was wrong. I’ve been watching it everyday since that night, amazed at how funny, heartwarming, and relatable it is. For those who don’t know, it’s about an aspiring model, Deb, who dies in an accident, and while in “limbo” hits the “return button”, and comes back to life in the body of a plus sized lawyer. Deb always looked down on plus sized women, and thought of them as beneath her, but after becoming one herself, she realizes just how untrue that is. She realizes how awful it feels to be looked at as someone simply overweight, and how people think you’re lazy, and just not trying hard enough.

I’ve been overweight my whole life, and I’ve gotten my fair share of cruel remarks about it. I’ve been asked if I’m pregnant, told no one will ever want to be friends with or date me, and called a beached whale. I have to sit on the edge of the row of desks in class, because it’s such a hassle for me to try to squeeze in between the seats. Sometimes, my belly doesn’t even fit in the desk. I’ve heard people attempt to stifle their giggles as I try to squeeze myself in places. They usually fail, and I try not to cry in front of them.

Last year, I gained a good amount of weight because of stress right before I went to college. Soon after that, I stopped getting my period and didn’t get it for a year. I didn’t think much of it until the end of last semester. My period was always so regular, and then all of the sudden, it wasn’t. I was afraid to go to the doctor, because I didn’t want to be told it was because I was fat, or that something was wrong with me, so I joined a gym and began working out every day.

I lost 15 pounds and gained a good amount of muscle over the summer, and I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. I fit in my clothes better, I have more self-esteem, energy, and endurance. This month, my period came back. I don’t think I’ve ever been that happy about my monthly visitor.

Drop Dead Diva is an amazing social commentary. It shows how much there is to someone, whether they’re skinny, overweight, black, white, whatever, and how easy it is for someone to just look at the surface. You never know what someone’s going through.

Daily Smash Book: 8.31.13

Listening – to the Braveheart soundtrack

Eating – nothing, getting ready to go to dinner

Wearing – my gray yoga pants, a pink tank, and a blue tank layered over that.

Feeling – hungry

Weather – 85 degrees and partly cloudy

Wanting – to receive a responding text

Thinking – that it’s only the second week of school, and I’ve a l r e a d y fallen behind in homework.

Enjoying – Once Upon a Time

Mass? – nope

Gym – Yes, this afternoon. Used the elliptical for 20 minutes while watching Once Upon a Time.

Favorite part of today so far – today has been pretty unexciting. I’ve been doing homework all day. I’m really excited about tonight, however. 🙂 Bingo and Foam Party at the FOCUS house! 🙂

Daily Smash Book – 8.18.13 (on 8.19)

Listening – to Arrested Development on Netflix

Eating – drinking cranberry raspberry juice

Wearing – purple shorts with pink stripes and an old Twilight shirt

Feeling – nervous and stressed

Weather – 68 degrees and partly cloudy

Wanting – Someone to pack for me.

Thinking – that I suck at packing.

Enjoying – watching Arrested Development

Mass? – Nope, went last night at Fan the Fire

Gym – No.

Favorite part of today so far – Going shopping at Target with Gina

Daily Smash Book – 8.16.13


Listening – to Pretty Little Liars on Netflix


Eating – Twizzlers


Wearing – black workout pants and a blue shirt


Feeling – excited 


Weather – 76 degrees and fair


Wanting – nothing.


Thinking – that I’m procrastinating so much.


Enjoying – life


Mass? – Yes, with Julia, Alyssa, Caroline, Dan, Michelle, Quinn and Sarah


Gym – Yes, with Sarah and Michelle


Favorite part of today so far – Auntie’s after mass 🙂


Daily Smash Book – 8.14.13

Listening – to Ripper Street on Netflix

Eating – just ate a Thai food smart ones frozen meal

Wearing – black workout pants, a pink tank and a blue patterned tank layered over.

Feeling – Hungry, even though I j u s t ate

Weather – 76 degrees and fair

Wanting – Roxie to snuggle with me 😦

Thinking – that I should probably start packing for school…

Enjoying – watching TV… nice and relaxing.

Mass? – Yep! With Dan, Andrew, Julia, Sarah, Alyssa, Caroline, Quinn and Michelle.

Gym – Yes, with Sarah and Michelle

Favorite part of today so far – Just sitting and watching TV (Ripper Street, Scrubs, and now Downton Abbey)

Daily Smash Book – 8.13.13

Listening – to Pretty Little Liars on Netflix

Eating – just ate some plantain chips and drank some diet coke.

Wearing – denim bermuda shorts and a white Harry Potter t-shirt

Feeling – excited that my birthday’s in a week!

Weather -74 degrees and partly cloudy

Wanting – it to be Thursday so I can go to Lake Compounce with my friends!

Thinking – that I should get some food soon.

Enjoying – life

Daily Smash Book – 8.11.13

Listening – to Once Upon a Time on Netflix

Eating – actually, drinking diet coke.

Wearing – one piece black halter swimsuit with jean bermuda shorts and a purple Steubenville East ’09 shirt over it.

Feeling – content

Weather -73 degrees and cloudy

Wanting – to binge eat. but i know i shouldn’t. cuz i didn’t do so well on my WW points for the last few days

Thinking – about my incredible night last night (pictures to come!)

Enjoying – Catching up on Once Upon a Time with my sister.

Daily Smash Book – 8.8.13

Listening – to How to Be A Serial Killer on Netflix

Eating – just finished dinner: Chicken teryaki with pinapple

Wearing – Pink ribbed tank, white muscle tank, blue capri sweatpants

Feeling – kinda tired… but it’s not even 8 yet.. hmm

Weather -76 degrees and partly cloudy

Wanting – to go back to school!

Thinking – about if I should wake up for mass tomorrow morning or not….

Enjoying – Matthew Gray Gubler’s awkwardness…

Daily Smash Book – 8.7.13

Listening – to Doctor Who on Netflix

Eating – potstickers from Stop and Shop with Sarah’s homemade peanut sauce

Wearing – green fan the fire shirt and denim shorts

Feeling – excited to go to the gym with Sarah, Sarah and Michelle tonight!

Weather -75 degrees and cloudy

Wanting – to buy a physical smashbook…

Thinking – about what to eat for dinner (healthy or not.. hmm)

Enjoying – The Van Gogh episode of DW!